A Very Depressing Blog Post

I got some bad news yesterday--my husband has apparently been fired--his boss has simply stopped having any work available for him.  It was probably because of his National Guard duty.  So our household has no income.  My parents are supporting us totally now, except for some help from my sister.  We have no unemployment (after all, he was only working part-time anyway), no social security, no food stamps, no welfare, nothing.

I can only hope that my meeting with the lawyer this coming week is productive.  My prediction is that she won't take the case, because she can only get paid if she wins--this is the way Social Security is set up.  The lawyer would get a percentage of the back pay.  But I don't have any recent medical records.  It may be that my sister will pay for me to see a couple of doctors, and then back to the lawyer we would go.  This could take a very long time.



We had to go into the Social Security office yesterday to get those replacement cards, and I asked for the CD.  They gave it to me, no problem.  So last night I perused that.  The neurological test I took--the Wechsler Memory Scale--showed that I have an extremely poor visual and spatial memory, and an auditory memory worth bragging about.  This is no great surprise--I could tell how well I was doing on those tests.

The doctor I saw for my physical said that I was 'partially credible'.  They should have taken a blood test and given me a pneumonia vaccine and tested that--I would assume that the results of those blood tests would have been 'entirely credible'.

I'm trying not to be anxious/angry/depressed/frustrated today.  I spent a couple of pointless hours this afternoon looking for work I can do online--as if I haven't looked already.  No, you just can't make thousands of dollars (or any dollars) taking surveys online.  As if I didn't already know that.  Desperation is making me dumber.  Very soon my parents will have to start going through the money they've been saving all these years for my children's college educations.  That might last us until spring if we're lucky.  At some point we'd have to move in with them.  Then their retirement money will have to feed and shelter all of us.  They don't deserve this.

There just isn't any point in worrying about it, other than that it's motivating me to spend more time going through the clutter around here in case I have to pack.  I try not to worry about what this will do to the kids, or that our two dogs might have to be separated from us to go live with strangers.

I'll just have to think about today.  And now I'll go back to looking for work online and going through our stuff.