Why do we want to control Ann Romney?

Feeling much better today. :)  We went to the library downtown and I had no idea how much walking a couple of measly little blocks would wear me down.  I thought when I felt better, that meant I was completely fine.  Oh well, now that I've caught my breath again, I still feel fine.  Guess if there was a mountain nearby, I'd be well-advised to put off the climbing expedition.



And now for this weeks rant:

In January, Mr. Romney said that he wanted parents on welfare, even parents with young children, to have the "dignity of work".  This month, a statement was made that his wife, Ann, "never worked a day in her life".  The implication was made that Mrs. Romney is not qualified to state an opinion on women's economic issues.  (Perhaps the accusation was correct, because she's never been poor, or even middle-class.  And I think that from now on I should refrain from having any opinions on civil rights because I have never been a member of a minority....anyway....)

Not that many decades ago, it was scandalous for a married woman with children to be working outside the home.  It even shamed her husband.  This policy actually made sense historically, in a world where somebody had to make the clothes from scratch, wash them by hand, cook the food from scratch, preserve food for winter, and help tend the animals and a garden, in addition to popping out baby after baby after baby.

Birth control changed everything.  It freed women to make a choice to work.  And the next thing you knew, the economy wasn't doing so well and it became a necessity for many women.  Then an obligation for every single one.

Because the disease I have isn't always visible to the casual observer, people generally assume that I planned not to work, planned to stay at home and homeschool.  But I didn't.  I sometimes fantasize about being a concert pianist/composer, or a college professor in math or physics, or even a college student again, or a writer.  (or a singer or empress of the universe....wait, where was I?)  I don't usually fantasize about being a stay-at-home mom.  No need, I suppose.  (I don't generally fantasize about being trapped in poverty, either.)  I am an accidental stay-at-home mom. 

But I resent the implication that I never work.  My husband hardly ever has to lift a hand around here.  While I do have the children help with chores, everything is ultimately my responsibility.  Homeschooling has certainly added to the workload.  And, not surprisingly, being with four children day in and day out with few breaks is often stressful

Then I remember my mother--she didn't 'work', either.  At first it was by choice, before she developed severe RA that now has her in a wheelchair.  But she was always busy, and she made our home a safe and cheerful place in which to grow up. 



I also resent the implication that I don't have dignity.  Other people may or may not believe that I deserve to have dignity.  But, funny thing, you can't get dignity from other people.  You have to give it to yourself.  When I get up in the morning and do chores and yard work and paperwork and exercise and homeschool and practice the piano and try to be a decent and cheerful human being, I have dignity.  (And when I wake up and spend all day in a chair because I've got pneumonia, that dignity does not automatically disappear.)

And then I have to wonder....if Mr. Romney makes enough money for his wife to stay home, whose business is that anyway?  Isn't this supposed to be a free country?  Women have fought for all sorts of rights in this country.  Now it seems we have the right to work, but not the right to stay home.  (And a blog post for another day....the right to have an abortion but not the right to have more than two or three children.)

One more note--I've recently devoured a book on Mormonism (The Mormon People by Matthew Bowman).  I learned that as recently as last year, a leader in the Mormon church said, "....we should all be careful not to be judgmental or assume that sisters are less valiant if the decision is made to work outside the home." (yep, those italics are mine)  This is the culture that Mrs. Romney is coming from, a culture that encourages women to stay at home and have large families.

I guess what's right all depends on what year it is and what part of the country you're from.  Maybe one day we'll all be free to choose what's best for ourselves.