Same old, same old

Feeling good today--better every day.  But last night I had a setback. We were at a restaurant when the asthma attack started.  By the time we got back to my parents' house to do our Christmas gift exchange, I was really starting to have trouble breathing.  Too much excitement.  What was interesting (and admittedly, it was a busy time when people weren't going to be very observant) was that only two people noticed that I was getting into trouble.  I took an informal poll the next day.  My husband noticed even in the restaurant.  And my mom noticed when we got back to the house.  She said I was just getting very quiet.  Everybody else was surprised to learn I'd been in trouble.  Nobody saw me run into the next room for prednisone.  I was all right after that, and I'm fine now.  Well, relatively fine.  Better than yesterday.  I played the piano (easy stuff) a bit at my parents' house, and the exertion had me shaking after a while.

But what I have seems to be pretty invisible.  I can be getting into real trouble breathing and keep it my little secret.  I can see how somebody would think I was lazy--suddenly I'm not helping with anything; I'm just sitting around.  I've always tried to keep this to myself.  I've been practicing for years.  Employees, in-laws, teachers, friends--I never wanted anybody to know I was sick.  And now that I've come out in the open, the results are less than encouraging.  The (few) people who understood before still understand.  One person who didn't really know has been encouraging.  But so far, the people who thought I was a lazy bum before have made it quite clear that they still think so.  Many people have pretended I didn't say anything.  So not much has changed, except I can now turn my attention to other things besides trying not to appear sick....

So if you're thinking that coming out of the closet about a chronic illness will result in more understanding and popularity, I wish you well.  Honestly.  It's bound to happen to somebody.  Go for it.  And it if works, let me know what you did.

Having a good day today anyway.  Playing with my 3-year-old niece fifteen minutes at a time.  Try explaining to a 3-year-old that you have to stop because you just can only keep running for so long, when the last time you saw her you had unlimited energy.  We'll all be going out for dinner later.  I managed to get some housework done this morning before we left, so things will be almost caught up when I wake up tomorrow morning.  I was happy with the amount of stamina I managed to have to work with.  Some not-so-good news--my husband got laid off from his job yesterday.

It's New Year's Eve.  Have a Happy New Year!