It's a Kind of Magic

I read this the other day....

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/health/research/new-autism-definition-would-exclude-many-study-suggests.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&ref=health

....which led me to read this, about the proposed changes to the definition of autism/Asperger's....

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2012/01/20/health/20autism.html

When I read this, I realized that under the proposed changes, I would no longer have Asperger's. This is because I'm lucky enough to be able to communicate with people face-to-face, at least at a rudimentary level.  At the more experienced age at which I find myself, I like to think that I actually do reasonable well, although when I was younger I quite frequently got stuck at 'rudimentary'. 

Being unable to engage in 'play' is another criterion on the new list, but I wouldn't qualify on that account either, because I'm also lucky enough to be able to visit the land of make-believe.  (And some days I like it better there.)

Because of these two items, I most likely would no longer qualify for Asperger's.

Presto, chango, I am cured.




....And then this morning I read this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/21/us/as-specialists-debate-autism-some-parents-watch-closely.html

This paragraph sums up the last article for me nicely:

"We have to make sure not everybody who is a little odd gets a diagnosis of autism or Asperger disorder," said Dr. David J. Kupfer, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh and chairman of the task force making the revisions, which are still subject to chance. "It involves a use of treatment resources. It becomes a cost issue." (both sets of italics are mine)

At least he's honest about it.  But what about that cost?

Personally, I was never diagnosed with Asperger's.  Back then, most people had never heard of it.  So there was a total savings on 'treatment resources'.  However, I went through year after year of social isolation in public school (and outside of it), unable to recognize students and teachers, unable to hear what was going on around me, getting lost over and over again, and failing many classes, sometimes more than once.  I did not graduate, and at nineteen was unable to drive a car or get a job.

As it turns out, there was quite a bit of cost involved, not only financially but personally, but it was all absorbed by me and my bewildered family.

I would have desperately done anything to have been able to pass myself off as only "a little odd".

Over the years I have learned a lot about Asperger's, and I cope far, far better than I used to when I had no idea what kind of horrible thing was wrong with me.  But I think the next time I go to bed and can't sleep, I'll lay there and fantasize about what my life would have been like if I'd been diagnosed at a young age, and there'd been some resources allocated for my treatment.