Friday, January 13, 2012

M-I-CCCC, K-E-YYYYYYYY

Good morning.  No, really.  I had a reasonably good day yesterday.  I actually packed up one popcorn tin of Christmas decorations.  It's always a good day when it's two o'clock and my hair is fixed and my teeth are brushed and the house is all caught up.  No sickness to see here, folks.  Of course, that's an illusion that's completely shattered after I've been up for a quarter hour and then start hacking uncontrollably.  And my voice still sounds remarkably like Mickey Mouse--it has since before Christmas.  But I'm not really in the mood to complain much about it because I'm getting, like, ten percent better every day for three days now, which just cheers me up immensely.

I was as productive as I could be yesterday.  Finally got out all the mail for the last month--at least I've been organized enough to have it all in one place.  Even got out the portable copy machine and rebate paperwork for the twelve-year-old's cell phone, so I can sit and do that today.  Thank you dearly Flylady for teaching me to be organized.

The wind has been howling outside all night.  We still have groceries and pet food and candles here.  I brought in firewood yesterday--twelve sticks at a time, over and over.  Why twelve?  Because I know me--I'd do a gross all at once if I didn't set limits. lol  It's all or nothing.



I've been determined to blog about what it's like to be sick, and this last month has certainly cooperated with me.  Be careful what you ask the universe for.  Well, here's another aspect of being sick I haven't talked about much:

I knew this was coming.  But that doesn't mean I could do anything about it.  I haven't had my head stuck in the sand.  But my husband got laid off at the beginning of the month.  For people who live just underneath the poverty line, there isn't any such thing as savings.  Our bills are usually behind.  I juggle them as fast as I can.  I prioritize--mortgage, used van payment, utilities.  Actually, it's not as if I've been spending any money lately, sitting on the sofa guzzling prednisone and antibiotics.  But I don't spend money anyway.  We're always broke.

So today I get to go to my (fantastically wonderful) parents (who never hold this over me or complain about it) and ask for money to pay our heat bill.  We only have a week's worth of LP in the tank, and there won't be any more until that bill's paid.  It's January, the heat's got to stay on.  (At this point, I selfishly reflect on the effect the cold house would have on my breathing.  I can't wait to be healthy enough to not think about breathing.)

And then I get to ask for money to pay the light bill, which is about to be shut off.  Knowing it's coming doesn't make money magically appear in the bank.

I think it would be nice to blog about the adjustment a family makes to suddenly being better off financially than they ever could have imagined.

My husband goes to school, goes to work (if there is any), plows snow at night after being awake all day.  He's got a job lined up.  For March.  He'll find more work before that if he can.  But it's never enough.

There's no Social Security for me, no food stamps, maybe no unemployment because my husband is graduating in March and you have to quit school to get unemployment.  No benefits for our family because I am not technically disabled.  I should go out and get a job now.

If it weren't for my parents, I guess we'd be relying on candles and the wood stove for light and heat.  I've read about people having to do that.

And people wonder sometimes--why don't we just pay our bills on time?  And paint the house and have some landscaping put in?  Buy a better vehicle?  New furniture?

Some people don't think poor people should be allowed internet access.  Those people should be stuck in a chair for a month.  But being home-bound a lot means the internet brings me the only source of information about my illness, information about homeschooling, printable worksheets, most of what little social life I have, my do-it-myself piano lessons, Shakespeare's Hamlet (there's nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so), clicking to donate for free, news stories, blogging.  I can see the whole world from here.

I love my internet. :)



At least we're warm and fed here.  Maybe today, a few minutes at a time, I can make some serious inroads into those Christmas decorations.  Makes me feel useful.  And I didn't really want the ornaments clashing with the Easter decorations this spring, anyway.  We'll be having school today. It's good that the girls are mostly old enough not to need a whole lot of supervision.

Maybe I can play a few very simple songs on the piano later.

Goal for the day:  Don't be stupid.  Pace myself.  And be careful what I ask for.

Time to get up, first meds of the morning have kicked in.  See ya.

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