Still hanging in there this morning. I just haven't been able to shake this. I'm not even homeschooling today. I've barely been able to assign chores and keep on top of things at home. The Christmas decorations are still up. I want to play the piano and I can't.
It's been frustrating--I feel like I should be getting medical attention (sounds ridiculous to even be wondering if I should at this point). But there are so many obstacles.
Not being well enough to drive myself anywhere.
Not having child care--nothing like trying to watch four kids in the ER for hours on end when you're the sick one--bad enough when it's one of the kids who's sick.
Not being taken seriously by doctors--I'm almost always confronted with medical personnel who haven't even ever heard of what's wrong with me, and think I need to just go home and take cough syrup. I'm given breathing treatments that do nothing for me and then I'm sent home.
Not having enough insurance to pick up a prescription if I'm lucky enough to even be given one.
Not being able to pay off the hospital bills after I get home.
Not being able to do follow-up appointments for lack of money, let alone see a very expensive specialist who would actually understand what's going on with me, or get a bunch of expensive tests done.
And a government that doesn't believe I'm disabled--one doctor said one day that I wasn't sick any more (and I would be the first person ever cured of this disease) and that's it--no social security, no medicare or medicaid so I can go to the doctor and get re-diagnosed....
Funny, I'm feelng really disabled today. And for the last almost-a-month now.
I am so tired of not being worthy of getting any medical care. It's just exhausting day after day.
All I can do is try to take care of myself at home, and try to keep myself occupied and keep my spirits up. That's enough self-pity for today. Flylady says you can do anything for fifteen minutes. Not sure that's what she meant, but I've taken that as permission for a fifteen-minute pity-party. :) I'm off to find something else to do on the internet now....
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